“All I’m trying to tell you is to be strong. Don’t ever let nothing get you down. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to love, or to grieve when the thing you love is gone. Just don’t let it throw you, no matter how much it hurts”
This quote just came at me full force when I read it (I might had quote it on facebook). But, it reminded me of my mom. I’m the kind of person who feels things deeply but I rather not show how I feel, and my mom would often tell me how that as not healthy for me. My first year moving to Fl was insane, I had a lot of bad moments, back to back, and the only people I had was my grandparents and my dad (who, at that point, was the cause of my headaches.) Anyways, before the year ended, I had a breakdown from all those bottle up emotions. It made me realize what my mother said was true, I kept holding on and holding on, until I couldn’t anymore. I realize I needed to do some changes in my life, I started being honest to people about how I felt in certain situations and it helped heal many relationships with friends and family alike. I guess you could say my mom is as wise as Tobias was (well, maybe a bit more wiser.)
“You got a right to do what you want, same as anybody.” (p262)
I’m on of those people who get into a lot of trouble because I feel SO strongly about certain topics that I just can’t comprehend the thought process that others have sometimes. I guess for me, its more of a personal thing. I have a cousin who is gay, and while I never had any problems or issues with homosexuals, this pushed me to be more aware, be more proactive and protective because I have someone I care about that is suffering because he isn’t being acknowledge as a human with the same rights as I have. There is also the issue of racism and rights of immigrants, I’m not an immigrant, but I am hispanic, and people then to generalize hispanics as if we all are from the same place, have the same culture, so we are treated equally as good, or bad, in the United States. As a Puerto Rican (born and raised there) , I never really pay attention to racism, becuase Puerto Ricans can look black, my grandmother is black, my uncle is black, but my grandfather is white, my mother looks white, and so do other family members of mine as well as friends. So coming to the United States it was a big culture shock to see how everyone just kinda sticks to the same color/race. It makes me feel out of place, and uncomfortable, and its something I have had to learn to deal with, and will have to deal with as long as I live here.
“They made small talk, remembering things past, incidents long forgotten but now brought back vividly – all of them trying to brush death from their mind.” (p309)
While I very fortunately have not had anyone close to me die, I do understand the concept behind the quote. Back home we don’t have yearbooks in school, so for my senior year I created my own. I asked everyone to send me pictures they had as well as using my own. For some it might seem like a small thing to do and have, but for me it meant a lot. Everytime I’m feeling homesick, I go back to that little notebook and look at the pictures, look at all the stories and goodbyes my friends wrote to me and it makes me feel like I’m back there with them, and it make me feel better. Now, everytime I flight back home, I take it with me. Since I always reunite with ym high school friends, we take the little notebook out and talk about, joke around and reminisce about those years, no matter how bad things are, we have those memories that remind us there are always good times in our lives.
Colloquium Journal 